Sunday, July 13, 2008

Cosmic Question

Do household drains only block up on the weekends?

Let me paint the picture here. Small house, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 1 Australian husband, one slightly annoyed wife (that would be me), two teenage daughters, one practically resident teenage boyfriend and two Labs.

Do household drains only block up on the weekends? It seems to be the only time they do at our house. Friday night, as if on cue, the tub drain plugs up tight. 4 bottles of Liquid Plumber, 3 hours of Grant playing plumber, 5 gentle WIFELY suggestions to call a plumber.....then as if this is written out by Stephen King, the block worsens to where we have the laundry machine in the garage backing up into one side of the kitchen sink. Then Sunday arrives. Kitchen sink is backing up when we do laundry so we have to bail water out of the sink when the laundry is in the rinse cycle to avoid flooding, so water is getting tossed out the kitchen door from the sink onto the side yard. The dogs see this and start pacing around the tree in the middle of backyard to guard the only workable urinal at our address, as if just waiting for Grant to overtake their domain. The bathtub cannot take one of the daughter's 20 minute showers so we have two very irritated, and irritatingly complaining teenage girls.

The bathroom sink, which is the only sink that is draining, but that is because the water from the bathroom sink makes the water rise in the bathtub when the sink drains. I'm praying now that our one and only toilet holds, or we are going to have to frantically upset dogs in the backyard and three girls in the house wishing we had bigger bushes in our landscaping. Today Grant surprises us all with a offer to to go to the movies. (I think he googled and status of their bathroom facilities first though). We are scrambling around to get ready for the movies.

I decide I should try to shave my legs before the movies, because I see a horrendous traffic jam in this Aussie-American household tonight. As a result, I had a rude awakening to the fact that I'm too old to try and balance on one foot while sticking the other foot up to waist height to clear the counter and put my other foot into the bathroom sink, which unknown to me till today is designed for a size 7 shoe size and I have a (nice for balancing) size 9 1/2 shoe size foot. I curl the toes under and endure. After finishing shaving one leg, I'm dripping in sweat and exhausted. I walk out of the bathroom with a limp, hoping I don't need a hip replacement and filled with anxiety at the thought of trying to shave the other leg. (right now I'm just thinking I'll sleep on the other side of the bed and explain to my husband "this is my good side".

The good news is, my wonderful husband (whom I adore) calls a plumber who will be out sometime tomorrow to launch us back into the 21st century with working indoor plumbing again.

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